For the first time, I brave myself to change

After I was overwhelmed with lots of things in my surrounding, I decided to change myself completely. Ya I decided to be bald.

I am bored of following popular opinions, while I actually have a different perspective about them.

I am sick of pretending to be okay, when in fact I’m actually not.

I am tired of being people pleaser and sacrificing my own happiness.

I am exhausted of being nicely fit in to society, while in reality every piece inside me is screaming because it doesn’t fit my personality.

So, I decided to stop playing by the rules and to start deciding my own values.

Why hair?

For many centuries, hair has played a big role in society. There was a saying, “your hair is your crown”. In some cultures, hair has been used to indicate someone’s personal beliefs or social position. In Chinese dynasties, hairstyle defined someone’s position in the kingdom. In Sikhism, they let one’s hair to grow naturally as a symbol of respect for the perfection of God’s creation. Ancient Israel signified hair as important element of identity with respect to gender, ethnicity and holiness. In some Indonesian cultures, men having long hair is considered a rebellious act.

In the current era, hair care has been industrialized and hairstyles have been used to define one’s value. Curly, wavy and straight hairstyle often shift others’ perspective toward someone. Some groups also use hairstyle as a movement, like supporting cancer patients or LGBTQ movements.

Me and my hair

For all of my life I have always loved my hair. Personally, hairstyle has a connotation of freedom how I express myself. I’ve tried to change my hair several times, but never once I cut it all. I’m always too afraid to see myself bald. I’m always too afraid of people’s opinion of me. I never had enough courage to do this.

But in this 25, I brave myself to change my appearance completely. I change my hair because I want something new in my life. Something to distinguish from the person I was to the person I hope to become. I want a fresh start. I want to wipe the slate clean, and to think of this as a new beginning. I want to be someone stronger, someone more discipline, someone more independent, someone who has moved on.

I change my hair because I need a milestone, I need a surge in confidence. In this moment, when my life feels horribly chaotic, I want to take back the control of my life. The only thing I have full power over – my own self.

In this 25 I want to be brave to make a statement about my own worth, my own values. I want to stop being a yes man. I want to be able to express my thought about my values, career and relationships. I want to stop swallowing other people’s standard without having second thought about them.

I changed myself as a symbol of crafting a new identity.

In this 25, I decided to be authentic.

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