I don’t know how to express how grateful I am to say goodbye to 2018. To be honest I have no regrets to look back on 2018. Although it wasn’t the best year, it taught me a lot about the importance of loving myself and the importance of being my true self. For me, it is the year of ‘Authenticity’.
2018 had been a year of embracing my imperfections and accepting the person I am. I found contentment in my journey and I’m grateful to be where I am now. I accepted myself wholeheartedly and I’m excited about growing to be my ideal self, not the ideal person of someone else. I stopped rushing for the next achievement to possess but to slow down and be fully present. I was slowly in tune with my feeling and realized that happiness is a journey, not a destination that I can rush towards. I started embracing my shortcomings and insecurities instead of surrendering to the dark voices in my head telling me that, I wasn’t good enough.
Thank you 2018, I learned a lot from you.
As 2019 is underway, I would like to make a commitment to myself. Here are 3 things I promise to myself in 2019:
In 2019 I promise to filter expectations
At some point in life, there comes a difficult state of knowing where we are heading in life. In the era whereas the whole world is connected by internet, it’s not a surprise that we can easily drowned in expectations. The noise of other people can easily come to our ears. Pressure gets harder and harder to bear as we see people in our age get achievements. They might seem to have already figured out most of their shit, while we can’t seem to find our own. That’s the moment we become vulnerable and blame our values and dreams as the cause we stuck in the position.
In 2019, I’m filtering expectations and rules. I’ll be more focus on my own well-being and my happiness. I’ll be more focus in creating my own story. I’ll shift my perspective that life is not merely about collecting rewards, instead, it’s about reaching our best potentials. I’m going to make 2019 a year worth remembering. So when I look back on this year I will say that it was the year when everything changed. That was the year I became more confident about myself and lived a life according to my own rules.
2019 will be the year I start to filter the whispers of others’, and be more vibrant on my own values.
You are entirely up to you.
2019 I want to control my habits
Another thing I learned in 2018 is that it is importance to keep tracking on our own habits. I can’t emphasize this enough. Growth happens when you are able to evaluate your own needs versus your wants and truly take steps to make them happen. So last year I decided to track my financial activity and my mobile phone activity. I found tremendous facts about myself that I’ve never known before, like how most of my time being waste and how bad my lifestyle was. This is how I get to know my habits and evaluate it for the better future.
2019 will be the year I have a better control upon my own habits. It will be the year for me to stop feeding my negative impulses. To reduce my procrastinating habit, to be more consistent in doing something, and to quit from analysis paralysis.
Newton’s first law:
An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.
2019 will be the year for me to jump-start and make momentum on my dream instead of frozen in analysis paralysis. I promise to expand my comfort zone so that I can soar higher and reach my best potential. I will learn to move on from what isn’t working and focus on what is going well.
2019 I want to love myself first
One of the things I learned in 2018 is that when we are in a relationship, without even intend to, we will end up conforming. Even if we are fiercely independent, we will gradually get used to the love, the helps from our partners and the values of our partners. We don’t even realize it’s happening, until, we’re no longer in the relationship. That is the moment we realize that we are no longer the same person we used to be. We no longer used to be on our own.
Once we’ve been alone for a while we begin to appreciate and understand things about ourselves, like how hard we are on ourselves or how little we mean certain aspects of our lives. That’s the moment we learn what we really want and what things makes us feel fulfilled.
2019 will be the year I embrace myself more, to have more me-time and to rethink what kind of relationship I need to the completion. So if one day I decide to be in a relationship, I know that it’s not because I’m afraid to be alone, nor because people tell me to, but because I know it is time for me to commit myself to someone and I know she has the quality to start a healthy relationship.
Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment.
So 2019, I’m excited to see where you will bring me. I don’t expect you to be easy but I really hope that you will be meaningful.