Childhood ghost

When I was a little I was told several stories about imaginary ghosts that could kidnap the parents when their kids did something terrible.

The stories have one thing in common:

“Don’t fight your parents, don’t fail your parents, don’t embarrass your parents, because every time you make your parents sad, the ghost will try to take your parents away from you.”

I was so scared by the idea of losing my parents. So I obeyed because I didn’t want to fight my parents. I suppressed my emotion because I didn’t want to embarrass my parents in public. And I studied because I didn’t want to make my parents sad because of my bad scores.

Even though the idea of the ghosts kept haunting me in my day to day activities, those stories also made me behave better than average kids in my age. 

—– * —–

When I get older, the ghosts are different. 

The demons that I used to imagine no longer exists. However, they change their forms into regret, loneliness, self doubt, and uncertain future.

And though I may be older and wiser, I still find myself haunted by imaginary concepts that limit the way I do things. 

I think a lot of people out there share the similar experience. 

Sometimes I wonder why we can’t fully get rid of our fears. Is it because it is realistically impossible to be totally fearless? Or is it because we actually need the right amount of fear? Just enough fear, to remind us that we still have something to protect. Something that we don’t want to lose, like dreams and family.

Because if it’s true that we actually need some amount of fears. No wonder we keep creating our new “ghost” after defeating the old ghost.


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