I don’t know how to express how grateful I am to say goodbye to 2018. To be honest I have no regrets to look back on 2018. Although it wasn’t the best year, it taught me a lot about the importance of loving myself and the importance of being my true self. For me, it is the year of ‘Authenticity’.
2018 had been a year of embracing my imperfections and accepting the person I am. I found contentment in my journey and I’m grateful to be where I am now. I accepted myself wholeheartedly and I’m excited about growing to be my ideal self, not the ideal person of someone else. I stopped rushing for the next achievement to possess but to slow down and be fully present. I was slowly in tune with my feeling and realized that happiness is a journey, not a destination that I can rush towards. I started embracing my shortcomings and insecurities instead of surrendering to the dark voices in my head telling me that, I wasn’t good enough.
In a way where, my happiness was just so simple. Even a stupidity of false belief could bring happiness in my daily.
I remember when I was a kid, on 6th birthday my dad gave me a special present. Guess what, when other kids got a roller skate, PlayStation, or remote controller car, my dad gave me… a couple of CHICKENS. Yeah it was a rooster and a hen.
To be honest, I didn’t have a clear idea about the reason why my dad gave me a couple of chickens. At least the reason for why should it be on my birthday. Seriously, what kind of dad give his beloved son a couple of teen chickens on the special day?
Probably he wanted me to learn how to share love, or probably he saw my quality as a caretaker and visualized me to be an eminent breeder in the future.
From the way the chickens seeing each other I can say: those teen chickens were falling in love, ready to make a further commitment as a family. And I knew, I was the third wheeler in their relationship. Thanks dad, I learnt how to be a third wheeler since my early age. Pffttt…
We all have that experience, when things are so good and it is hard to believe. For example, you got an SMS about winning a million dollar door prize from unknown number. Or you find something in online store, it claims as the lowest price in the world for great quality while actually it’s only a fake product. Or, someone that out of the blue treats you so nice, while actually they are just buttering you up.
There are a lot of similar experience happened throughout our lives. Well experience makes us learn. And after several times trapped in that kind of illusive situation, I slowly realize that good always follows bad, and vice versa. Just like Yin Yang, light and darkness always complete one another. So if there is an extreme goodness, something will surely go wrong.
Now I have a very strong intuition for things that smells very fishy. And every time I face with similar position, I’d rather have a second-guess for the worst thing that probably happened. Well, even dawn comes after the darkest. So I decided to only believe in effort and reputation. If I want something great, then work for it.
Singapore Indonesia Youth Leadership Exchange Programme 2012 was conducted in two phases, Singapore and Indonesia phase consecutively. Indonesia phase which was taken place in Riau involved local youth during the activities. Not to mention they also provided foster parents for us to live in.