Sometimes people’s voices confuse me. Some tell me to be authentic. Some others tell me to be “normal” and “fit” into society. While adjusting to both sides is not as easy as a lot of people say it is. Sometimes attempting to please our surroundings, being good at career, maintaining relationships, and all while trying to be authentic feels like a battle. Sometimes it makes me worry whether I am fit enough to my surrounding. The attire I wore, the words I chose, the idea I expressed, the things I did. It was all because I was afraid to be rejected.
I remember one day my friends and I had a dinner with one of my favorite lecturers in school. We talked about a lot of things, but one thing that I can never forget was about being different.
He gave us an interesting case:
“Suppose we have an aquarium with 100 fish in it. Ninety-nine of them are one-eyed, and only one fish has two eyes. In this context, which side is normal? Which side do you think will be oppressed to be ‘normal’?” Read more →
Based on your perception of colors you are the ultimate surrealist. Your mind works in abstract, your imagination is powerfully vivid and you see the world from a unique and creative perspective. You notice details and symbols in everyday things that most people don’t take the time to observe. You have an affinity for artistic expression and you would always prefer to live life on the edge rather than stick to the norm.
Seribu asumsi bisa saja muncul, namun hanya beliaulah yang satu-satunya mengerti. Meski dengan pendekatan super canggih hingga disebut ilmiah, tapi asumsi tetap saja asumsi.
Hati-hati, asumsi sering kali melahirkan orang-orang sok ngerti.
Toh tidak semua hal di dunia ini harus kita mengerti. Apalagi tentang hidup orang lain, apa yang membuat kita berhak memainkan peran paling mengerti?
Di dunia ini sudah terlalu banyak orang yang merasa dirinya paling mengerti. Dengan latar belakang yang “katanya” terpelajar, mereka merasa berhak menjadi yang paling benar lalu berperangai kurang ajar.
I don’t know how to express how grateful I am to say goodbye to 2018. To be honest I have no regrets to look back on 2018. Although it wasn’t the best year, it taught me a lot about the importance of loving myself and the importance of being my true self. For me, it is the year of ‘Authenticity’.
2018 had been a year of embracing my imperfections and accepting the person I am. I found contentment in my journey and I’m grateful to be where I am now. I accepted myself wholeheartedly and I’m excited about growing to be my ideal self, not the ideal person of someone else. I stopped rushing for the next achievement to possess but to slow down and be fully present. I was slowly in tune with my feeling and realized that happiness is a journey, not a destination that I can rush towards. I started embracing my shortcomings and insecurities instead of surrendering to the dark voices in my head telling me that, I wasn’t good enough.
When I was a kid, I was told a story about elephant and blind men.
Six blind men were asked to observe an object that they had no idea about. They chose one leader to listen and make conclusion, while the other 5, observing the object in different position. The leader asked, ‘What is an elephant like?’ and they began to touch the object. One of them said: ‘It is like a pillar.’ This blind man had only touched its leg. Another man said, ‘The elephant is like a fan.’ This person had only touched its ears. The third man said, ‘No, it’s a wall.’ This man touch the belly. The fourth who touched the trunk said, ‘ No way, it is round and sharp, it must be a spear.’ The last man said, ‘Yes it is round, but too smooth for a spear, and it keeps moving. It must be a snake.’ This last man only touched the tail.
The leader was confused. None of the information matched one to another. Thus, he failed to make a conclusion.
The story above tells us how the same data when it is seen from different perspectives might be interpreted differently. None of the men were lying, but none of them were telling the truth either. They were right in their own little observation.
In the real world, that case is not happening to the blind men only. Data representation might lead misinterpretation to anyone.
Ngapain sih ngikutin negara barat? Udh jelas-jelas liberal dan sekuler. Mau ngancurin moral bangsa?
Guys, sebelum ngehakimin negara-negara yang nggak bermoral, yuk kita introspeksi diri dulu.
In my humble opinion, kata “bermoral” itu sendiri sangat subjektif. Bagaimana sih nentuin standar moralitas? Apakah seseorang hanya dikatakan bermoral kalau dia memiliki paham yang sama dengan kita?
Atau mungkin coba kita lihat data:
Negara yang katanya bermoral dan beragama ini menduduki posisi ke-96 di dunia untuk indeks korupsi, sedangkan negara yang kamu bilang amoral seperti Amerika menduduki posisi 16, sedangkan Inggris di posisi 8 dunia . Di negeri yang katanya bermoral ini korupsi udh mengakar bahkan di lapisan paling bawah masyarakat. Nggak heran kalau sering ada “mark up” pada proses pelaporan.
Negara yang katanya bermoral ini memiliki angka perokok tertinggi di dunia dengan 76.2% laki-lakinya merokok, sedangkan Amerika hanya 19.5% dan Inggris 19.9%. Bahkan Australia hanya 16.7% . Selain itu, di negara bermoral ini rokok bisa diakses dengan murah oleh siapapun dan dimanapun, bahkan anak kecil ngerokok udah sering ditemuin. Sedangkan di negara yang kamu bilang amoral seperti Amerika dan Inggris, mereka menjual rokok dengan harga yang tinggi, selain itu mereka juga punya regulasi ketat untuk umur pembelian rokok , . Read more →
In a way where, my happiness was just so simple. Even a stupidity of false belief could bring happiness in my daily.
I remember when I was a kid, on 6th birthday my dad gave me a special present. Guess what, when other kids got a roller skate, PlayStation, or remote controller car, my dad gave me… a couple of CHICKENS. Yeah it was a rooster and a hen.
To be honest, I didn’t have a clear idea about the reason why my dad gave me a couple of chickens. At least the reason for why should it be on my birthday. Seriously, what kind of dad give his beloved son a couple of teen chickens on the special day?
Probably he wanted me to learn how to share love, or probably he saw my quality as a caretaker and visualized me to be an eminent breeder in the future.
From the way the chickens seeing each other I can say: those teen chickens were falling in love, ready to make a further commitment as a family. And I knew, I was the third wheeler in their relationship. Thanks dad, I learnt how to be a third wheeler since my early age. Pffttt…
Semenjak mendapatkan karantina selama 10 hari di Wisma Hijau Depok 2016 lalu, kata integritas menjadi salah satu kata yang sering aku fikirkan. Jujur sebelumnya aku belum pernah begitu memaknai kata yang terdengar sederhana ini. Bahkan sialnya, akupun tak pernah ada ketertarikan untuk mengetahui kata itu sebelum karantina tersebut.
Sepuluh hari karantina tersebut aku maknai sebagai proses penanaman nilai moral dalam kehidupan. Nilai-nilai sederhana yang sering kali kita abaikan dalam aktivitas sehari-hari. Sebuah proses “brainwash” yang aku sukai, dan aku sangat bersyukur dapat mempelajari hal tersebut bersama orang-orang hebat.
Lalu apa sih definisi dari integritas?
Menurut kamus cambridge integritas adalah:
Integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.
Integritas: Suatu kualitas untuk menjadi jujur dan memiliki prinsip moral yang tidak akan kamu ubah.
Conflict is an inevitable part of life. We have experience so many situations with conflicts in it. Poor interpersonal communication for most of the time become the number one factor that flares up a simple disagreement into a resentment or worse.
It is human to disagree. Conflict can either be good or be bad, the essential part is to manage them. With a good management, conflict might produce a great solution. On the contrary, with a bad management, it might be ended up as a terminal friction.
Conflict might be ended up with exhausting, stressful, broken relationships and lost of opportunities or it can deepen our connection to the people we care about. It can provoke useful conversation with people with whom we disagree. Conflict can give us the momentum and the opportunity to talk about what matters.
Most of the time the advice you get to manage the conflict is “communication“. But sometimes talking about it seems to make it worse. The other advice is “to compromise“. But it is not always easy to compromise with people who are in the same conflict. Moreover, when you are drowning in the sea of negative emotions.
I’m sure all of aforementioned advice is well-intentioned. But it treats conflict as if it’s a problem.
What if conflict isn’t a problem, what if it’s a solution. What if it’s not negative, but full of beauty?