Sometimes people’s voices confuse me. Some tell me to be authentic. Some others tell me to be “normal” and “fit” into society. While adjusting to both sides is not as easy as a lot of people say it is. Sometimes attempting to please our surroundings, being good at career, maintaining relationships, and all while trying to be authentic feels like a battle. Sometimes it makes me worry whether I am fit enough to my surrounding. The attire I wore, the words I chose, the idea I expressed, the things I did. It was all because I was afraid to be rejected.
I remember one day my friends and I had a dinner with one of my favorite lecturers in school. We talked about a lot of things, but one thing that I can never forget was about being different.
He gave us an interesting case:
“Suppose we have an aquarium with 100 fish in it. Ninety-nine of them are one-eyed, and only one fish has two eyes. In this context, which side is normal? Which side do you think will be oppressed to be ‘normal’?” Read more →
Seribu asumsi bisa saja muncul, namun hanya beliaulah yang satu-satunya mengerti. Meski dengan pendekatan super canggih hingga disebut ilmiah, tapi asumsi tetap saja asumsi.
Hati-hati, asumsi sering kali melahirkan orang-orang sok ngerti.
Toh tidak semua hal di dunia ini harus kita mengerti. Apalagi tentang hidup orang lain, apa yang membuat kita berhak memainkan peran paling mengerti?
Di dunia ini sudah terlalu banyak orang yang merasa dirinya paling mengerti. Dengan latar belakang yang “katanya” terpelajar, mereka merasa berhak menjadi yang paling benar lalu berperangai kurang ajar.
Sometimes we forget that life is like a melody. It’s not a flat tone. It’s a sequence of tones. It goes up and down, it goes between the sorrows and the glories. Sometimes it goes really fast like a drum, sometimes it goes slow like a soothing wind. But one thing to remember: “they are always played in harmony”. So next time you complain about your satback, remember that it is, too, part of the beautiful melody. And once it’s a flat tone, it is no more a melody.
I don’t know how to express how grateful I am to say goodbye to 2018. To be honest I have no regrets to look back on 2018. Although it wasn’t the best year, it taught me a lot about the importance of loving myself and the importance of being my true self. For me, it is the year of ‘Authenticity’.
2018 had been a year of embracing my imperfections and accepting the person I am. I found contentment in my journey and I’m grateful to be where I am now. I accepted myself wholeheartedly and I’m excited about growing to be my ideal self, not the ideal person of someone else. I stopped rushing for the next achievement to possess but to slow down and be fully present. I was slowly in tune with my feeling and realized that happiness is a journey, not a destination that I can rush towards. I started embracing my shortcomings and insecurities instead of surrendering to the dark voices in my head telling me that, I wasn’t good enough.
When I was a kid, I was told a story about elephant and blind men.
Six blind men were asked to observe an object that they had no idea about. They chose one leader to listen and make conclusion, while the other 5, observing the object in different position. The leader asked, ‘What is an elephant like?’ and they began to touch the object. One of them said: ‘It is like a pillar.’ This blind man had only touched its leg. Another man said, ‘The elephant is like a fan.’ This person had only touched its ears. The third man said, ‘No, it’s a wall.’ This man touch the belly. The fourth who touched the trunk said, ‘ No way, it is round and sharp, it must be a spear.’ The last man said, ‘Yes it is round, but too smooth for a spear, and it keeps moving. It must be a snake.’ This last man only touched the tail.
The leader was confused. None of the information matched one to another. Thus, he failed to make a conclusion.
The story above tells us how the same data when it is seen from different perspectives might be interpreted differently. None of the men were lying, but none of them were telling the truth either. They were right in their own little observation.
In the real world, that case is not happening to the blind men only. Data representation might lead misinterpretation to anyone.
Ngapain sih ngikutin negara barat? Udh jelas-jelas liberal dan sekuler. Mau ngancurin moral bangsa?
Guys, sebelum ngehakimin negara-negara yang nggak bermoral, yuk kita introspeksi diri dulu.
In my humble opinion, kata “bermoral” itu sendiri sangat subjektif. Bagaimana sih nentuin standar moralitas? Apakah seseorang hanya dikatakan bermoral kalau dia memiliki paham yang sama dengan kita?
Atau mungkin coba kita lihat data:
Negara yang katanya bermoral dan beragama ini menduduki posisi ke-96 di dunia untuk indeks korupsi, sedangkan negara yang kamu bilang amoral seperti Amerika menduduki posisi 16, sedangkan Inggris di posisi 8 dunia . Di negeri yang katanya bermoral ini korupsi udh mengakar bahkan di lapisan paling bawah masyarakat. Nggak heran kalau sering ada “mark up” pada proses pelaporan.
Negara yang katanya bermoral ini memiliki angka perokok tertinggi di dunia dengan 76.2% laki-lakinya merokok, sedangkan Amerika hanya 19.5% dan Inggris 19.9%. Bahkan Australia hanya 16.7% . Selain itu, di negara bermoral ini rokok bisa diakses dengan murah oleh siapapun dan dimanapun, bahkan anak kecil ngerokok udah sering ditemuin. Sedangkan di negara yang kamu bilang amoral seperti Amerika dan Inggris, mereka menjual rokok dengan harga yang tinggi, selain itu mereka juga punya regulasi ketat untuk umur pembelian rokok , . Read more →
Around 2400 years ago in Athens of Greece, there lived a cute boy from one of the wealthiest and the most influential families. His father provided every facility for his development. Grammar class, music class, gymnastics class, ballet class, all from the greatest teachers in the city. Wait, I guess he didn’t take ballet class. But he grew very well, sharp and talented; unfortunately, without the ballet skill. People recognized him as a bright though modest boy who excelled in his studies.
Raised in the era of philosophy, he studied under some of the era’s most distinguished teachers: Socrates. He learned a lot about Socrates’ philosophy. One of them is how to reach the state that he termed: “Eudaimonia” which means ‘fulfilment’. Unlike Socrates who never wrote anything about his thoughts, this boy wrote lots of them. He wrote 36 books, all dialogues with his teacher beautifully crafted scripts of imaginary discussions. These then became the root of modern philosophy.
A few years went by. Then a few more. And then . . . nothing happened. Just a little bit older, but still cute. He then created his own philosophy. One of them is the idea of how to reach Eudaimonia: “Think Harder”. In his opinion, our lives go wrong because we barely give ourselves time to think carefully and logically about our lives and how to live them. So we end up with the wrong values, careers and relationships. Read more →