Weird Happiness

Weird Happiness

Sometimes I miss my childhood…

In a way where, my happiness was just so simple. Even a stupidity of false belief could bring happiness in my daily.

I remember when I was a kid, on 6th birthday my dad gave me a special present. Guess what, when other kids got a roller skate, PlayStation, or remote controller car, my dad gave me… a couple of CHICKENS. Yeah it was a rooster and a hen.

To be honest, I didn’t have a clear idea about the reason why my dad gave me a couple of chickens. At least the reason for why should it be on my birthday. Seriously, what kind of dad give his beloved son a couple of teen chickens on the special day?

Probably he wanted me to learn how to share love, or probably he saw my quality as a caretaker and visualized me to be an eminent breeder in the future.

From the way the chickens seeing each other I can say: those teen chickens were falling in love, ready to make a further commitment as a family. And I knew, I was the third wheeler in their relationship. Thanks dad, I learnt how to be a third wheeler since my early age. Pffttt…

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Too Good To Be True

Too Good To Be True

We all have that experience, when things are so good and it is hard to believe. For example, you got an SMS about winning a million dollar door prize from unknown number. Or you find something in online store, it claims as the lowest price in the world for great quality while actually it’s only a fake product. Or, someone that out of the blue treats you so nice, while actually they are just buttering you up.

There are a lot of similar experience happened throughout our lives. Well experience makes us learn. And after several times trapped in that kind of illusive situation, I slowly realize that good always follows bad, and vice versa. Just like Yin Yang, light and darkness always complete one another. So if there is an extreme goodness, something will surely go wrong.

Now I have a very strong intuition for things that smells very fishy. And every time I face with similar position, I’d rather have a second-guess for the worst thing that probably happened. Well, even dawn comes after the darkest. So I decided to only believe in effort and reputation. If I want something great, then work for it.

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Embrace Yourself

Embrace Yourself

When I ask you about your first love. I am silently wishing that you’re going to say your own name.

So that I know, every choice that you make is based upon your conscience. So if one day you ask me to be on your side, I know that it will be your final decision.

So before that, please embrace yourself. Be alone, eat alone, and take yourself on dates. Only then you could learn about yourself in a deeper level. Only then you could hear the whisper of your heart.

The language that matter

The language that matter

My foreigner friend visited Yogyakarta. As a good host I accompanied him to travel around while explaining a little bit about Indonesia especially Yogyakarta.

Me: In Indonesia we own more than 500 indigenous languages with 7 different phonetics symbol (In a way, I’m proud to be Indonesian).

Him: It can’t be true.

Me: I’m not kidding. In this city, most of people speak Javanese.

Him: So, how many languages do you speak?

Me: Malay is my mother tongue, Bahasa Indonesia is my second language, Sambas is my third, English is the fourth and Javanese is my last language. So in total, I could speak 5 languages.

Him: That’s a total insane. How did you manage to master all of them?

Me: My dad speaks Malay and I grew in Malay environment. While Bahasa Indonesia as our Lingua Franca is used in office, school and other official institutions. My mom speaks Sambas, I speak this language when I meet my mom’s family. So basically I master those 3 languages by nature.

Him: cool!

Me: I started learning English in elementary as the mandatory subject. And now I’m struggling to master Javanese as the original language of this city.

Him: awesome!! do you learn foreign language?, I mean, language from other countries.

Me: I managed to give a try. But none of them works on me. I think I suck at foreign language.

Him: Why? (showing a curious smile).

Me: I tried to learn Arabic, Germany, Japanese, and Thailand. But none of them works on me. How about you?, What language do you speak?

Him: I speak two languages, Malay as my mother tongue, and English as the business language.

Me: Are you interested to learn new language?

Him: Does that matter?

Me: What do you mean? (trying to catch what he implies)

Him: Does that matter to learn other language?, what matter to me is not that someone could speak France, Germany, or Spain. What matter to me is do you speak human rights? do you speak climate change? or do you speak SDGs?. I think this world needs people who speak about global issues and its solutions.

Me: Yeah, I couldn’t agree more.

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Why do I hate small talk

Why do I hate small talk

What’s your name?
Where do you come from?
How is life?
Are your parents okay?

Some of you who close to me probably know that I’m not a kind of talkative person.

Yeah, I should admit that sometimes I consider myself as a socially awkward. In a way that I often feel tired in social settings. Also, I regularly find myself struggle to adjust to social situations.

Yes I don’t really enjoy small talk, especially to the stranger.
I sometimes feel small talk as a normative conversation about things that are not so important or that don’t really matter.
Sometimes I see small talk as a way to be polite or friendly in front of others (which I do not really agree).

In some cases, trying to be friendly dread me. Especially when the conversation start to touch my private territory.

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Kak kenapa suka dancing in the rain?

Kak kenapa suka dancing in the rain?

Someone once told me:

“Cloudy does not always mean sad”

Even if you’re in sorrow, it is important to remember that you’re not alone in the sadness, even the world cries, even the sky that holds everything together fall a part from time to time.

And if you’re in joy. Don’t be afraid to express it even in the most childish way. It will make you feel more delighted, it will amplify your happiness, it will liberate you.

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