Probably the best game my dad taught me when I was a kid was chess. The game was quite famous in my dad’s village. If in the afternoon I explored the alley where my grandparents live, I’d find some men were playing chess in front of their houses with cups of coffee next to them and cigarette on their mouths. I can say, it was a daily afternoon routine for the men around the village.
Since it was very famous, he introduced me the game quite early. I was in the second grade of elementary school when he came back home with a chess board in his bag.
It was a pleasant afternoon, a perfect time for kid to play outside and get some sweat. Boys usually chose to play some sports or kite or traditional games. While the girls on the other side, usually played cooking or jump rope.
That day was quite different for me. My dad called me from distance and then asked me to sit with him on the terrace.
Sometimes we forget that life is like a melody. It’s not a flat tone. It’s a sequence of tones. It goes up and down, it goes between the sorrows and the glories. Sometimes it goes really fast like a drum, sometimes it goes slow like a soothing wind. But one thing to remember: “they are always played in harmony”. So next time you complain about your satback, remember that it is, too, part of the beautiful melody. And once it’s a flat tone, it is no more a melody.
Around 2400 years ago in Athens of Greece, there lived a cute boy from one of the wealthiest and the most influential families. His father provided every facility for his development. Grammar class, music class, gymnastics class, ballet class, all from the greatest teachers in the city. Wait, I guess he didn’t take ballet class. But he grew very well, sharp and talented; unfortunately, without the ballet skill. People recognized him as a bright though modest boy who excelled in his studies.
Raised in the era of philosophy, he studied under some of the era’s most distinguished teachers: Socrates. He learned a lot about Socrates’ philosophy. One of them is how to reach the state that he termed: “Eudaimonia” which means ‘fulfilment’. Unlike Socrates who never wrote anything about his thoughts, this boy wrote lots of them. He wrote 36 books, all dialogues with his teacher beautifully crafted scripts of imaginary discussions. These then became the root of modern philosophy.
A few years went by. Then a few more. And then . . . nothing happened. Just a little bit older, but still cute. He then created his own philosophy. One of them is the idea of how to reach Eudaimonia: “Think Harder”. In his opinion, our lives go wrong because we barely give ourselves time to think carefully and logically about our lives and how to live them. So we end up with the wrong values, careers and relationships. Read more →
When I ask you about your first love. I am silently wishing that you’re going to say your own name.
So that I know, every choice that you make is based upon your conscience. So if one day you ask me to be on your side, I know that it will be your final decision.
So before that, please embrace yourself. Be alone, eat alone, and take yourself on dates. Only then you could learn about yourself in a deeper level. Only then you could hear the whisper of your heart.
Conflict is an inevitable part of life. We have experience so many situations with conflicts in it. Poor interpersonal communication for most of the time become the number one factor that flares up a simple disagreement into a resentment or worse.
It is human to disagree. Conflict can either be good or be bad, the essential part is to manage them. With a good management, conflict might produce a great solution. On the contrary, with a bad management, it might be ended up as a terminal friction.
Conflict might be ended up with exhausting, stressful, broken relationships and lost of opportunities or it can deepen our connection to the people we care about. It can provoke useful conversation with people with whom we disagree. Conflict can give us the momentum and the opportunity to talk about what matters.
Most of the time the advice you get to manage the conflict is “communication“. But sometimes talking about it seems to make it worse. The other advice is “to compromise“. But it is not always easy to compromise with people who are in the same conflict. Moreover, when you are drowning in the sea of negative emotions.
I’m sure all of aforementioned advice is well-intentioned. But it treats conflict as if it’s a problem.
What if conflict isn’t a problem, what if it’s a solution. What if it’s not negative, but full of beauty?