Thought

Most of the time I found myself adore someone because of their thoughts. For me, having great mind is the most beautiful thing human can own in this life. Here I share some of ideas that roam around inside my brain. Wish we could talk about it one day.

The 911

Sometimes, you just need someone to talk to. Someone who will sit next to you even when you don’t ask them to. Someone who will always be there for you. Someone who can always be your 911. Someone who understands you and what you’re going through. Someone who will never judge your flaws, mistakes, scars, and shortcomings all because they appreciate you for who you were, who you are and who you are going to be. 

I don’t care if they can only say “ooh”, or just nod their heads, or just say “that’s okay” without giving fruitful advice. I don’t care. Their presence matters more than anything. 

Sometimes we just need someone who could bring a little bit of light into our darkness. A little bit of smile into our sorrows. A little bit of of hope into our despairs. Someone who could truly see the little things we need when we need it the most.

Sometimes we just need that person, the person that we can trust, the person we can lean on, the person we can rely on. Sometimes we just need them, not because we’re not enough to be ourselves, but because their existence could support you through your hard times. 

Issues – Julia Michaels (Kina Grannis Cover)

I’m jealous, I’m overzealous
When I’m down, I get real down
When I’m high, I don’t come down
I get angry, baby, believe me
I could love you just like that
And I could leave you just this fast

But you don’t judge me
‘Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too
No, you don’t judge me
‘Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too

‘Cause I got issues
But you got ’em too
So give ’em all to me
And I’ll give mine to you
Bask in the glory
Of all our problems
‘Cause we got the kind of love
It takes to solve ’em

Yeah, I got issues
And one of them is how bad I need you

You do shit on purpose
You get mad and you break things
Feel bad, try to fix things
But you’re perfect
Poorly wired circuit
And got hands like an ocean
Push you out, pull you back in

‘Cause you don’t judge me
‘Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too
No, you don’t judge me
‘Cause you see it from same point of view

‘Cause I got issues
But you got ’em too
So give ’em all to me
And I’ll give mine to you
Bask in the glory
Of all our problems
‘Cause we got the kind of love
It takes to solve ’em

Yeah, I got issues
And one of them is how bad I need you

And one of them is how bad I need you
(I got issues, you got ’em too)

‘Cause I got issues
(I got)
But you got ’em too
So give ’em all to me
(You got ’em too)
And I’ll give mine to you
Bask in the glory
(I got issues)
Of all our problems
‘Cause we got the kind of love
(You got ’em too)
It takes to solve ’em

Yeah, I got issues (I got)
And one of them is how bad I need you (You got ’em too)
Yeah, I got issues (I got issues)
And one of them is how bad I need you (You got ’em too)
Yeah, I got issues (I got)
And one of them is how bad I need you

Image source: frontrowliveent.com

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I was in relationship

Fiuh, it’s been a year from that moment huh.. I’m not sure if it’s like yesterday or a thousand year. I’m not even sure if this is appropriate to be shared or not, but ya, I’m gonna share this anyway.

—*—

Throughout my life, I was close to some girls, but many of which only ended up with small talks or coffee dates without further stories. Yes I was never in a relationship. Sometimes the reasons were on the women’s side, but most of the time, I was the main cause. I find myself quite easy to be attracted to girls but extremely difficult to be attached to them.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean to play around with those girls. In fact, every time I dated a girl, I always hoped that girl will be right one. The hopes always felt like that step will be the last step needed to get to the top of the mountain, or the last note that completes the whole harmony, or the final word that could sum up the entire story. I always hoped that that will be the end of the searching, that that will end well.

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I love you is not enough

It was 30 minutes before the midnight when a chat notification came into my phone. I called him Cimeng, one of my best friends when I was in college. The name Cimeng in bahasa Indonesia means weed. My circle gave him that nickname because his face constantly looked like someone who was under drugs influence. 

“Are you busy?” he asked.

I always knew, random text in the middle of the nights means he just experienced a bad thing. Most of the times the bad thing was related to his romance story. He kinda sucks in doing relationship.

“No mate, what’s up?” I replied.

“Well, it’s about the story I told you last time. Can I call you?”

“Sure.”

Not long after that my phone rang, a voice call from him through WhatsApp application showed up on the screen. 

He started to share his story about a girl he adored in the office. I knew he’d been approaching this girl quite long time, and I knew how much effort he had given just to get a single glimpse from the girl. It wasn’t very smooth, but he did it anyway.

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